According to Destiny
by Dean's Little Secret
Summary: Arthur was lonely. Merlin was there. The consequences are life changing. Warning inside
1. Part 1

**Warning: Slash, Mpreg dub/non con**

**According to **_**Destiny**_

Arthur was lonely, Merlin was there and it just happened. One moment Merlin was turning down the sheets the next he was backed up against the wall, Arthur's warm body pressing up against his. It all went very fast, in a haze of fumbling from their clothes, to rolling under the covers to the last cries. It was too fast for Merlin's liking, he wanted his first time to be slower, he'd dreamt of Arthur kissing him with such heated passion that you could feel it in the air. He'd imagined countless times about how Arthur would undress him slowly, savouring the moment, instead he tore off his clothes and pushed him down on the bed.

Instead of showering him in kisses, he nipped harshly against his skin, leaving marks so that people knew he was his. There wasn't much thought for preparations, Arthur wanted to feel good, he didn't care if Merlin was hurt in all of this. And of course he was. He, God he is in idiot, but for a moment he thought Arthur actually wanted him. When his lips crashed hungrily against the warlock's he thought all his dreams were coming true. What came true was a quick fuck and he was left feeling used.

They never spoke of it again. For a fact, Arthur acted like it never happened. He acted like he hadn't broken Merlin's heart into thousands of pieces; he ignored the hurt written so clearly in Merlin's eyes that a blind man could see it. Prince Arthur didn't care that he shattered the servant dreams and crushed all his hope. How could their destinies be entwined if Arthur treated Merlin like this? How was he meant to save and protect the prince when he wanted to just run and hide whenever he saw him? How could Arthur not know that Merlin loved him more than anything he had?

Summer bled into winter and the snow began to fall on a Sunday morning that found Merlin in tears. He sat at the old wooden table, food, books and potions lining the top before him as he sobbed uncontrollably. He'd thought about this after that night, it had haunted him through so many days and sleepless nights but after awhile nothing changed so he abandoned the thoughts. Maybe he'd done so too early; all too eager to just let go of some of his troubles. But now all his fears were slamming into him with the speed of a wild horse and the force of a dragon.

He looked up through the tears and glared with so much hatred it could kill a man at the two long needles that gracefully knitted another pair of pale pink mittens. He tried to reach out and stop them, to tear them apart and forget this was happening but they moved out of his sluggish grasp and continued to knit higher up. When you find out your pregnant because you wake up to your powers knitting hats, socks, and mittens you feel like the biggest freak. Merlin, being the silly boy he was, ignored it all first, he told himself it was just his subconscious playing tricks on him and making his magic do odd things. He kept telling himself all he had to worry about was losing his head.

Then. just this morning he was cleaning Arthur's chainmail (well muttering how much he hated him) when it suddenly turned into a pink blanket and he just knew. No amount of denial would fix this, _would change this_, he was pregnant. He was pregnant with Arthur Pendragon's baby. At first he wanted to smile until the memory of how he conceived this child hit him full force. The tears fell then. He left the room, only making it to the table before his knees buckled and he had to take a seat.

Coming back to the present Merlin pounded his firsts against the table, the plates and potions jumping into the air. The invisible hands stopped knitting and Merlin felt like his magic was glowering at him. Like there really was an invisible person holding those stupid needles and was now giving Merlin a firm look. They soon started up again though this time being joined by another set that started to make a purple hat. He was having a girl.

**(…………)**

When Merlin stared at Arthur, the last strains of sunlight turning his hair gold, he found it hard to hate him. He found himself thinking that _that night_ wasn't so bad, that sure, it was rushed and he couldn't walk probably the next day, it was still good. He told himself 'at least it was with Arthur. At least for a moment there was some passion' and there was. For a second and Merlin treasured it. For a moment his skin danced with flames, for a moment the world stood still and in that moment everything was perfect. Then it all ended and disappeared into a haze of biting and nipping. It all went wrong when Merlin started to throw up in the mornings and cry and get angry over small things.

"Merlin!"

The warlock looked up at the sound of impatience in his master's tone. He studied his prince, towering over him, making him feel feeble. He felt helpless that night, he told himself 'any moment he'll stop and it will be how I want it' it never happened. He rose to his feet on unsteady legs; Arthur made him weak at the knees, now for all the wrong reasons. He flinched as Arthur swept the sweat from his brow and looked away when Arthur stared at him concerned. _He wasn't concerned that night_. He looked back at his prince, taking note of the dirt coloured snow that smeared his face and armor, he'd been training Knights and Merlin wished he could have whiled a sword that night.

"Ready to head back sire?" he always tried to keep his voice firm and sometimes wondered if Arthur ever noticed that Merlin was somewhat afraid of him.

**(…………)**

The snow had been falling all day, the night now silent and cold. Merlin wrapped another blanket around his slim farm and placed one hand on his stomach and the other wrapped around his goblet that was filled with boiling tea. He stared down at the liquid as he reconsidered the way Arthur had been acting this week. He'd been making an effort to be nice, he'd seen the flash of annoyance in the prince's eyes and had seen his brow furrow but no harsh words came. He simply took a deep breath and brushed off whatever Merlin had said or done with a nod or a light joke. Merlin started to love him again.

Just as he was about to slip into a happy bliss the door opened and Gaius came in, his old face shadowed in concern. He regarded Merlin carefully, and the warlock tried to read his father figures expression but he had no idea what was on his mind. With a sigh Gaius turned away and set to work on making his own tea. Merlin let out a breath he didn't realise he was holding, he thought his secret was uncovered for a second there.

The old physician took a seat opposite Merlin and sipped his tea, the steam billowing into the night air. He stared at Merlin over the rim of his glasses and he tried to will his magic not to think of the baby. But as soon as he thought the word 'baby' his magic did something. Like the other day; he'd been in Arthur's room changing the sheets and he thought about the life that was growing inside of him. Then the prince's bed disappeared and before Merlin was a small crib. The polished wood shined in the winter sunlight that illuminated the room, the soft white blankets looked like the snow that decorated Camelot.

Merlin didn't know how long he stared at it for, hours or maybe minutes, but he cried and he smiled. He pictured his little girl in there, snug and safe beneath the covers, big eyes staring up at the world with curiosity. He thought about names as he stared at the crib, Ava, Lily, Adalyn, all so beautiful but didn't seem quite right. His fingers danced over the smooth wood and he pictured his little girl. She'd look like Arthur, he knew she would. She'd have a halo of blonde curls and those crisp ice blue eyes; she'd have flawless skin and an everlasting smile. Her first words would be Dada, she'd have magic, she'd conjure a kitten, she'd have her own destiny to fulfill and she'd do the great things Merlin had forgotten about.

Merlin heard footsteps and made the bed return and the crib disappeared into nothing. Arthur swore his bed looked different, Merlin told him was seeing things. Merlin blinked and there it was, his magic exposing his secret to Gaius. His mouth was ajar as the potions and plates all vanished to make room for four crystal glass baby bottles, a pink, blue, purple and yellow stripped rattle and a little tiara; a little tiara for a little princess.

"Merlin…"

He buried his face in hands.

"Merlin what have you done?"

Gaius's words echoed in the air and seeped through Merlin's skin like icy rain until they froze him to the core. What had he done? Nothing. That is what he had done. Nothing! He had just been minding his own business, lost in his task of turning down the prince's sheets when it all went wrong. He'd tried to make Arthur stop, he'd tried to tell his body he didn't want it, not like this, but it had its own mind. Like his magic, it betrayed all his secrets and left him open to read like a book. He eventually looked up at the physician, his question burning in the air. "I don't know."

"Merlin, Uther will have your head" Gaius was angry, he was livid and Merlin shrank back. "How could you be so careless? You are meant to keep this a secret" and no, he wasn't talking about his magic. "Arthur can't be with you! He has to marry and have a hire to the throne" he could hear the unspoken words; he could never have a sorcerers child. "I told you never to tell him about your feelings Merlin." He hadn't, maybe Gaius should know that, but Merlin was blinded by tears and the words he wanted to say were lost. His old friend's anger waned as the warlock sobbed and a comforting hand rested upon his shaking shoulder. "I'm sorry Merlin" he sounded tired and in truth, so was Merlin, _so tired_. "You haven't told Arthur have you?"

Merlin considered this, he hadn't told Arthur but maybe it was time he should, maybe it was time he demanded to know why _that night_ happened. "No" he looked down at his hands that rested on his stomach "no I haven't."

"What are you going to do?"

He had no idea.

**(…………)**

The shirt was too big for Merlin; he had to roll up the sleeves a few inches and he would have to make do with the length. It nearly reached his knees but it did its job. Which was to hide his round stomach that seemed to have come out of nowhere but it just felt like that. She'd been growing bigger each day for five months now and Merlin was grateful that he still had his head. His magic had done more than conjure baby clothes and baby needs, it had turned a few swords into flowers, two angry looking guards into puppies and it even turned Arthur's room pink.

She clearly knew who her other daddy was and it hurt Merlin to think about it. He could never tell Arthur about her, for a fact he still had no idea what he was going to do once she was born. He knew she'd be the splitting image of him and everyone would just know. He really had no choice but to leave. He could go back to Ealdor and stay with his mother, she'd love her granddaughter but there was barely little room as it were and he wished his little girl could have what he never did.

He sighed heavily and turned away from the full length mirror. The walk to Arthur's chambers was uneventful, sort of like the last five months actually. He hadn't had to save Arthur from evil sorcerers or mythic creatures, he hadn't heard from the dragon, which he thought he would have since he was carrying a magical child but clearly he was still sore about Merlin telling him he'd make sure he was never freed. Merlin almost felt normal, expect for the magical mishaps and his ever growing baby bump. Another thing he could not hide was the fact he still loved Arthur, despite the events of that night and despite the fact he acted like it never happened. God he loved Arthur with all his heart.

He'd found himself gazing at him again, admiring how his hair turned gold in the sunlight and how his eyes were always so blue. He took note that Arthur stared just a little too long at him, that he stepped just that little more close. Maybe that night did mean something to him and he thought it meant nothing to Merlin. Merlin froze in his tracks, what if he thought that? What if Arthur loved him? The short journey to Arthur's chambers became a quest for the truth. He quickened his pace and made his way to the prince's room with a thudding heart and a few kicks of encouragement from his little girl.

He burst into the room, forgetting the long conversations about knocking, and got exactly what he never wanted. Arthur was in the midst of kissing a young girl with wavy red hair, they broke apart and she frowned at Merlin who was sure his heart lay on the floor for all to see. Arthur seemed unable to speak, his mouth was moving but no words were spoken and honestly, Merlin had expected for him to be shouting at him. Maybe he could just finish him off, get out his sword and pierce Merlin's bleeding heart with it. Merlin's hands moved to his stomach, the baby was kicking hard, her heart was broken too.

"Don't savants knock around here?" the girl asked, turning her nose up at the warlock.

A servant… that was all he was to Arthur, not his friend and not his lover, he was just a servant. The tears prickled his eyes and blurred the edge of his vision, his heart ached and his baby kicked so furiously he doubled over. Arthur raced over to him, catching him before he fell to his knees. The prince's strong hand came to rest on Merlin's stomach. Came to rest on his, _their child_. Stormy blue met sky blue and instead of seeing hate he saw concern… he saw fear.

"Merlin" it always sounded right when Arthur said his name, it fell from his tongue just right, it echoed in Merlin's mind like a soft melody. "Merlin, who did this to you?"

Merlin's eyes widened 'who did this to him?' didn't he remember? Didn't he remember using Merlin as a quick fuck? Couldn't he remember how he told him to get out after he used him? Was that night just forgotten like it didn't nearly destroy Merlin? Finally the rage that had been building for months exploded "You did Arthur" his voice had never seemed so loud, so full of anger "you did this to me! You used me like I was worth nothing, you broke my heart and you've acted like you've done nothing wrong, you acted like it never happened!"

Merlin felt fire sear in his veins, he stared at Arthur who had backed up, his expression bewildered. "How can you not remember?" he shouted so loud that the girl ran from the room in terror, he shouted so loud that his magic seeped through his words and sat the bed ablaze.

Arthur rushed past Merlin and he was sure he was going to get the guards; he'd order them to kill Merlin, to kill his baby. But instead Arthur shut the doors, the loud thud echoing around them. The prince looked from the bed to Merlin and the flames died, leaving a smoke trail behind. He could fix the bed, make it so you'd never be able to tell the fire had touched it but he was burning with too much rage. He felt his stomach; she was quiet now and willed himself to be calm for her sake.

"Merlin" Arthur stood a few feet away from him and he looked afraid and it was ironic since Merlin had been the one afraid for months "I honestly have no idea what you are talking about" he took in a deep breath and stepped closer "I thought someone hurt you" he swallowed "you've been acting… strange for months and I've been trying to find the right way to ask you if… if you're ok."

Merlin bit his tongue to hold back the rest of his rage; his prince truly looked like he had no idea what he had done and maybe he really didn't. And Merlin had never stopped to consider that Arthur might have been under a spell or something because Arthur would have never hurt him. God he was so stupid, so fucking stupid. Of course Arthur would never hurt him. So now here was the hard part, telling Arthur what he had done. But as he gazed at Arthur, looking truly concerned for his servant's well being he found himself unable to tell him what he had done. "You've just been a part."

Arthur didn't look convinced. "Merlin if I have done something you must tell me, I order you."

He shuddered at his tone, at his power of authority. But he had a right to know, this child was his to and no matter how much it hurt the both of them he had to say this. "I'm pregnant" he swallowed hard. God he should just leave, say it was nothing, but in the end, all secrets are revealed and it's best he is the one who draws back the curtain. "And... and the father didn't exactly have my consent."

Before he could go on Arthur stumbled into the chair and buried his head in hands, Merlin wasn't sure he wanted to do this anymore. "It's… it's not like that" he'd told himself a thousand times that Arthur had never raped him, he had kissed back, he had said yes with his kisses but said no with his voice and the prince hadn't stopped. "I liked the person…" Arthur looked up, his blonde brows raised in question and his mouth set in a thin line. "A lot actually…" he looked down at his shoes; soon the day would come when he couldn't see his feet. "It's just…" he shrugged "I think they were under a spell or something."

"It doesn't pardon them of their crime Merlin" he'd never heard Arthur sound so fierce "tell me who _he_ is."

_He's you._ "He doesn't live here" tell the truth, tell the truth, tell the truth "I'm sorry" the dam burst and tears flooded down Merlin's face and it was only making all of this so much worse. "Arthur…" he hiccupped and his body shock with the sobs "it was you, you did this to me! You're the father."

Arthur, who had gotten ready to pull Merlin into his arms, froze "excuse me?"

"I think you were under a spell or drunk or something, I don't know. But you… you and I… the baby's yours Arthur" he was rambling, a big rambling mess "I thought you just pretended that night never happened but now I realise you have no idea it happened at all and I'm sorry. I should have spoken to you months ago but…" words failed him as the tears took control.

Arthur blinked, still stunned and frozen in horror "I raped you" it wasn't a question and Merlin wanted desperately to say no, that of course he didn't but he had. "Oh God" he gasped, his own eyes tearing up "I am so sorry" he never apologized, never said thank you or please but right now he was begging for Merlin to accept his apology and now knowing that his prince never knew what he was doing he could accept it.

**(…………)**

The sound of rustling leaves, the gentle lapping of the waves against the shore, the delicate breeze that caressed his skin lulled Merlin into a false sense of safety. He liked it here, by the lake, hidden beneath the large trees. The truth was Merlin wasn't very safe at all, not here in Camelot. Not now that Arthur knew he was a sorcerer and at any moment he could be surrounded by guards and taken to his death. He hadn't actually told Arthur he was warlock but the fact he was pregnant and set the princes bed on fire was a dead giveaway. But Arthur never actually asked, he never screamed at Merlin for lying to him, he never dragged him to his father kicking and screaming. He didn't even seem surprised to find out he was a warlock, No, instead he just left.

Merlin felt abandoned. How could he just leave? Didn't he hear that he was having a baby? Did he care? Did he care about Merlin at all? Why did he have to just go, _vanish_, when Merlin started to fall for him all over again? Or maybe he never stopped loving him, maybe a small part knew that Arthur had never done this to him willingly and he kicked himself for not seeing it. If he had just spoken to him months ago things might have been different. Maybe he'd be here sitting by his side, with his head resting on his stomach and listening to their daughters heartbeat.

"Merlin…?"

The young warlock jumped in surprise before turning around to face the very man he had just wished was here. With a small smile the prince made his way towards him, stepping easily over the fallen logs and roots. He couldn't help but smile as Arthur took a seat a few inches away from him, the afternoon sun turning his hair gold, the way Merlin loved it. They stayed in silence for a few moments, just listening to the sound of nature.

"I'll never tell my father that you are sorcerer" Arthur's words were a wave of relief for Merlin. "I'll do anything I can to make sure he doesn't find out about the child, I'll keep you safe" he never looked at Merlin while he spoke. He stared distantly at the lake that stretched on forever. "I can never make up for what I have done but I can promise safety for both you and your child. I will give you everything you need to care for the baby" he looked at Merlin now, his expression unreadable. "I always thought you were a sorcerer, I've survived too many near death experiences and part of me always knew it was you who saved me."

Merlin smiled "it was nothing." It was everything. _He is everything._

"I owe you so many thank you's Merlin" he replied firmly "and after all you have done I go and do this to you" venom tainted his words "I swear I am truly sorry."

The younger boy looked down at his stomach; he loved the way it looked just right, like it was always meant to be, like it was destiny. "I'm not." Sometimes, even when you're scared, you just have to tell the truth. "Arthur I love you, I'm in love with you and… our first time didn't exactly happen the way I wanted it to but I'm glad it was with you. I'm honoured to be carrying your child." He smiled whole heartedly to emphasis his words. "I'm not sorry that night happened." And he never really was.

"Merlin" his name got carried away on the wind, along with the rest of their words. There was nothing else to be said or done, Merlin accepted the apology and only hoped Arthur could return his love. It was a lot to hope for; after all he was the prince of Camelot and future King so why should he love a servant? Because sometimes things just happened even if it wasn't how it should be it just was. Arthur tentatively moved closer to Merlin and with a reassuring smile the prince rested his head upon Merlin's stomach. And with no words spoken, Arthur declared his love for his servant and their unborn daughter.

**(…………)**

It takes awhile for Arthur to forgive himself for what he has done but late one night, when Merlin is gazing at the ceiling, rubbing circles on his stomach, his bedroom door opens and Arthur walks in. He doesn't say a word, just walks towards Merlin's bed and kisses him the way he had always dreamt he'd kiss him. Merlin felt dizzy, he felt his heart pound against his chest but this time it was not fear, it was from the love and magic that seared in his veins. The room felt like it was spinning; it was suddenly bright and when Merlin cracked open an eyelid he saw that the ceiling was lined with small floating lights.

"Are you doing that?" Arthur asked his lips only inches from Merlin's.

"No" he looked down at his stomach "she is."

Arthur stared at the twinkling lights for a moment. "She has excellent taste," he whispered, cradling Merlin's face in his hands and kissing him softly "she takes after me I see."

Merlin laughed, God he'd missed Arthur "I love you." The balls of light grew brighter and the floor turned into a field of rose petals. Arthur stared at the room in awe; he looked even more beautiful in the moonlight.

He looked back at Merlin, placed on hand on his stomach and the other against his pale cheek. "I love you too."

They fell silent then, just enjoying the company of each other on this warm night. It was what Merlin had always wanted, just to gaze into his princes eyes and to spend the night in his arms. Dreams do come true, even if they happen a little different then how you'd imagined they'd be. Felling tired Merlin shut his eyes but a sudden kick from the inside and a gasp from Arthur had him opening his eyes and grinning from ear to ear, "and she loves us both."

**(…………)**

When women got pregnant they put on the weight, Merlin seemed to be getting thinner; the only part of that was big was his stomach. It was worrying to see the already bonnie warlock lose more weight, so worrying in fact that it made Arthur start to fear for his safety. He didn't seem to be eating much, was tired all the time and even when he had a good sleep he looked exhausted. He was now six months pregnant and these symptoms had started a week ago.

Merlin, himself wasn't overly worried, he didn't feel ill, just tired. He really saw no reason for his lover to be fussing over him. Though it was nice to find that Arthur had brought him breakfast, that Arthur had put his things away (well, by put away, he sort of just pushed them out of the way so Merlin didn't trip over anything.) But it was also quiet annoying when he kept a close eye on him all the time and it was hard to hide their relationship when Arthur held his hand when he went down the stairs, just in case he fell. (Which he had done once or twice and trust him, falling down the Camelot stairs hurts. You have bruises for months not days.)

On day five Merlin did feel unwell and even though he was beneath the covers and snug against Arthur he still felt cold. He rolled over in the prince's arms and gently shook him awake; the prince offered him a tired smile but soon was fully awake. He picked Merlin up into his arms and carried him from his room, anyone could see them, Arthur was only half dressed and Merlin's nightshirt didn't hide his stomach at all. Thankfully the castle seemed empty and they made their way to Gaius's chambers unseen.

"Gaius!" Arthur's voice sounded far away to Merlin "Gaius, help! Something's wrong with Merlin."

The old physician roused from sleep and rushed to Arthur who still stood in the doorway with Merlin in his arms. Merlin's vision started to fade, Arthur's perfect face becoming harder to see and each word spoken sounded further and further away. He clung desperately to Arthur as he was laid to rest on Gaius's unmade bed, he whispered words of reassurance but all Merlin could now hear was the pounding of his heart. What if something was wrong with the baby? Oh God! No! There couldn't be anything wrong with his little girl. No, please, no, she had to be fine, she had to be ok.

"The baby" he murmured "Arthur don't let anything happen to her."

"I won't Merlin" God he sounded so far away "she'll be fine, I promise, you both will be fine."

Arthur's words never reached Merlin for he fell into the darkness, falling into a world where everything can be perfect or shattered.

**(…………)**

_It's cold. The snow stretches on for miles and miles but they are meant to keep going, keep hunting. Arthur wants a new fur rug and trophy, Merlin wasn't to go inside before him and his unborn child freeze. He's two and half months pregnant, no one could ever know, unless they saw him in the mornings, when he was empting his food into a bucket and cursing Arthur and his magic. He was surprised Gaius hadn't figured it out already, it had only taken his magic six weeks to start alerting him to his body changes. _

"_Merlin" Arthur's voice is distant and echoes "hurry up, would you."_

_He's slowing down, it's too cold out. Even though Arthur gave him a fur jacket to wear he is still freezing to the bone, he shouldn't be out here. Arthur is up ahead, the guards are spread out, a helpless deer insight. Merlin turns around and heads back to Camelot. Arthur was the reason he was with child so he sure as hell wouldn't be the reason he lost it._

_When Merlin was two months, three weeks and four days pregnant he was glad Gaius had found out. A week ago the long conversation at the kitchen table took place; his old friend had made sure Merlin knew that having a child was not easy. He told him how he'd have to put her first, how he couldn't just go off and do things without thinking, she was his responsibility, and of course Merlin knew all of this. He was still having trouble accepting that he was in fact going to be a father but he fully understood the responsibility of being a parent. It was going to be a big change, a huge adjustment, especially since he was so young himself._

_He'd once believed that he and Arthur had a shared destiny but as the days went by he realised this was all they were meant to share. This was their destiny, to have a child and maybe she was the one who would do great things. Not the bustard that shattered his heart._

_There goes his neckerchief, tossed to the floor without a care, there goes his shirt, torn roughly from his body, there goes his pants, Arthur's going to get what he wants. A rough hand runs down his inner thigh, Merlin braces himself. Arthur's lips are crushing against his, his tongue evading his mouth and searching every part of the wet cavern. The pain Merlin expects never comes; the hand runs back up his thigh and grasped his hair. _

_The kiss comes to a sudden halt and Merlin gasped in some much needed air. There is a glimpse, a moment, where Merlin can see something amazing in the prince's eyes. There is a flicker of love, a flicker of true love. It dies too quickly and lips crash against lips and the hand returns to his inner thigh, slick with oil. There isn't much time to adjust to the evading digit but there is a whisper of pleasure beneath the pain and Merlin holds onto that. _

_It's too hard to hold onto once Arthur has entered him. He begs him to stop, he pleads but he goes unheard. He shuts his eyes tight and tries to imagine that this is how he wants it, rough and fast but it only makes him cry. You can't tell yourself something feels good when it's tearing you apart. _

"_Arthur stop, please stop."_

**(…………)**

When Merlin wakes up Arthur is by his side, face pale and tear streaked in the moonlight. It takes a few moments for the fog to clear and for everything to catch up with the young warlock. He rests one hand on his stomach, she kicks, the other on Arthur's hand, he looks down at him. He looks haunted, hurt. The prince wipes away his tears before turning his gaze back towards the empty room. Its dead quiet, not even their soft breaths are loud enough to disturb the silence.

"You were saying 'Arthur stop, please stop" the princes words cuts the silence like a knife and leave Merlin speechless, "Where you dreaming about that night?"

Was he? He didn't know. He used to dream about it. He'd wake up covered in sweat and tears but that had all stopped long ago. "I don't remember" he slowly sat up, taking note that he felt better "how long was I out for?"

"The day" Arthur replied dryly. "You had an infection… a cut on your hand." Why wouldn't he just look at him? "Gaius gave you something; you're going to be fine."

Merlin nodded, he felt his throat clench, "Are you ok?"

He didn't reply at first "was I your first?" don't you hate when your questions get answered with questions.

"Does it matter?" his words were barely audible.

Arthur looked at Merlin now, his eyes glistening with tears "it does to me!"

Merlin shrank back "Arthur it doesn't mat-"

"-Merlin, tell me!" his words were low but said with enough force that he had no choice but to answer.

"Yes" swallow, breathe, "You were."

Those words hang in the air like a rain storm only they seemed to have coursed more damage than rain ever could. Merlin reaches out for Arthur, desperately trying to hold onto what they have. He can't let Arthur slip from his fingers, not now, not after everything they have been through. They were finally together, God it couldn't end. A wave of nausea swept over Merlin, his vision faded to white before vanishing to reveal Camelot's throne room.

There is only one person in the room, a man with crystal blue eyes and sandy blonde hair, this man is Arthur and he is king. A sound, soft footsteps echo from behind Merlin and he turns around to see a small girl with a halo of gold locks and the most amazing blue eyes. This is their daughter, she is even more beautiful then he could have ever imagined. She rushes towards Arthur, her purple and green dress swaying in the air as she spins around in her father's arms.

"Daddy?"

It takes Merlin a second to realise she is talking to him "Yes?"

"Watch this!" she holds out her hand, palm up, and with a flash of bright blue a kitten is born. She looks up at Merlin with the most angelic smile "can I keep her?"

Merlin sucks in a breath and blinks repeatedly so his eyes can adjust to the darkness of the room "did you see her?"

Arthur smiles through the dark "yeah… I saw her" he leans forwards and kisses Merlin "she's perfect."

**(…………)**

_Winter seems to last forever, the days are always cold and dark, the nights long and lonely. Merlin draws his legs up towards his chest and tightens the covers around his body, he used to close his eyes and imagine that Arthur was here. His warm chest pressed against Merlin's back, his strong arms wrapped around him, protecting him for the winter chill. He finds himself half wishing that Arthur was here, to help raise this child, to love him, to love _them_. But he doesn't love Merlin, never did, never will. He just used him. And Merlin wonders, if he knew how much he hurt him, would have he cared? _

_Merlin's fingers whisper against his stomach, would he even want to know?_

"_Are you going to tell Arthur?"_

_Merlin looked up from the newly knitted hat "huh?"_

"_I asked" Gaius placed a bowl of porridge in front of Merlin "if you are going to tell Arthur."_

"_Tell Arthur what?" he could feel his heart racing, God he did not want this brought up._

_Gaius sighed and rolled his eyes "about the baby."_

"_Oh" he stretched out the world, picked up his spoon and took a deep breath "no."_

"_I'm sure Arthur won't have you executed Merlin" the old physician sat down and stared at the warlock levelly "obviously he cares for you, if you…" he trailed off "you know."_

_Merlin pushed his chair back, the nose to loud for the silence of the early morning "he doesn't care about me!"_

"_He must" his old friend protested "he slept with you."_

"_I was just an easy fuck" it was too late to take the words back once they were out. He spun around, he had to get out of here, go some place where he could just sit down and think. He felt a gentle hand on his arm, he had two choices, go or turn around. With a deep sigh the warlock turned back around to face his old friend and as soon he saw his worried face the tears fell. The embrace was welcome, he'd needed a shoulder to cry on for a long time and he was glad his old friend was here to lend him one._

**(…………)**

The early morning sun spills through the large windows, chasing away the shadows and basking the young couple in a golden glow. Like always, Merlin is caressing his stomach, lost in the memory of what they had seen. She was going to be beautiful and powerful. Perhaps she could return magic to Camelot, she could show them it was nothing to fear. Arthur's strong hand came to rest beside Merlin's; the young warlock looked up and offered him a tired smile. His prince had seemed troubled ever since the night he was sick, he had said 'Arthur stop, please stop' and those were the words he whispered all those months ago. He never wanted for Arthur to hear him mutter them when he was asleep, trapped in a nightmare of the past. But that's all it was, the past, he had forgiven Arthur. After all, he had been cursed.

"How did you picture your first time?" the prince's voice cut into Merlin's thoughts like a knife.

"Uh… what?" he shifted, the weight of Arthur's gaze to heavy.

"You know" he made an odd hand gesture "how did you picture your first time having sex?"

"Oh" Merlin's face went red, from his neck to his ears "well… to be honest… with you."

"Just without me taking advantage of you" he added bleakly.

"How about you make it up to me?" he asked, carefully.

"How can I make this up to you?"

"You could forgive yourself."

The prince frowned briefly before his face lit up with an idea "tell me exactly how you pictured it" he sat up and looked down at Merlin, studied him "and I'll do it."

Merlin's blush grew deeper "you're the prince, people do things for you, not the other way around."

"Well I want to do this for you" he said defiantly "because I love you."

Merlin smiled "I love you too" he then felt a stabbing pain in his kidneys "and I love you as well."

"Have you thought of any names for her?" Arthur asked, suddenly swept of the subject that had Merlin as red as a tomato.

"I'm not sure yet" he took Arthur's hand and placed it back on his stomach "what do you think?"

"I think you should have first choice" he replied "you are the one carrying her."

Merlin grinned "why thank you sire."

And Arthur mirrored it "but you could name her after me."

Merlin considered this, but Arthur didn't seem like a girl name even if he did change a few letters "I don't think so."

"Not even Aretha?" he hedged,

"Nope."

"Well then" the prince lay back down, pulling his lover into his arms "I guess you will just have to tell me all about your secret desires."

**(…………)**

"_Are you going tell your Mother?"_

_Why did he have to ask this question? This morning he'd asked him if he were going to tell Arthur now this. God give him a break. "Oh yeah, that'd be a cheery letter" he snapped "Dear Mother. How are you? I am pregnant because I am an idiot and for a second I actually thought Arthur might have loved me! But I was wrong! Hope to keep my head."_

"_Merlin" Gaius sat down beside him, his tone warning "you need to tell her."_

_Merlin sighed "she'll be so cross."_

"_Not if you tell her _everything_ Merlin."_

"_That's even worse" he exclaimed "I don't want her to know that Arthur…" he trailed off, the words lodged in his throat "if she finds out that it's his she will freak. I can't tell her. Please Gaius, I can't. Don't make me."_

_His old friend sighed "wouldn't you want to know?"_

"_Well of course I would."_

"_Then there's your answer." _

_Merlin had thought writing the letter to his mother had been the hardest thing he had do, but right now, with the letter from his mother in his hands, he knew this was the hardest thing. He hesitated all day, glancing at it, picking it and going to open it only to put it back down. Now it was night, he was alone in his room and the letter was screaming at him to open it. Taking several deep breaths he tore open the envelop and removed the creased paper from inside. _

"_You can do this" he told himself as he unfolded the letter._

To my dear son

I am sorry I am unable to visit you; I wish more than anything to be there with you. Everything must be so hard for you right now, but know that I am thinking of you every second. Merlin, I don't want you to lose faith in Arthur, you are like two sides of the same coin and I know you have a great destiny together. It's just playing out a little different than any of us imagined. Don't ever stop believing in it though, you and Arthur's destiny lie together.

Love you my son

_Was this letter from his mother or the dragon? He scrunched it up into a little ball and threw it across the room. _

_He'd given up on his destiny the moment Arthur forced his way with him._

**(…………)**

The markets were bustlingly. It was a typical Sunday in Camelot, everyone was out to get the specials and enjoy the warm sun and gentle breeze against their skin. Merlin made his way through the crowd, both arms folded on his stomach. He was really starting to show; even the shirt Gaius had given to him wasn't doing its job. He avoided the odd looks and kept his head down, if anyone found out they'd report him to Uther, he just hoped very few knew male sorcerers could have children.

"Merlin."

The young warlock turned around at the sound of his prince's voice "Yes sire."

He stepped closer, a few people in the crowd spared them both a few looks "I thought I told you to clean my room."

Merlin sucked his bottom lip in between his teeth, he had no idea how much Arthur enjoyed the sight of that "sorry sire, I just had to get a few things for Gaius."

He stepped closer, his lips so close to his ear that he could feel them, soft and full "go home Merlin. People are staring."

**(…………)**

"_C'mon on Merlin" the way Arthur's lips felt up against his ear was amazing; his warm breath caressed his skin just right. Everything he did was just right, the way he held him, the way he kissed him, caressed him, it was all so right. Merlin could now see they were destined to be together, they always had been. "Tell me" the prince purred._

_Merlin closed his eyes, he could see how he wanted his first time but could he put it all in words? "I want you to kiss me" he opened his eyes, staring at his prince with burning desire. "I want" _wanted_ "you to make me feel special, to say 'I love you' with every kiss, every touch" his cheeks grew pink "I want you to undress me slowly" he swallowed; Arthur must think he was a fool "to just make me feel wanted. To treat me like I'm more than your servant."_

_The kiss that came from Arthur had enough passion that everyone in Camelot could have felt it. "Merlin I love you" he whispered "I love you so much that it scares me sometimes, there is nothing I wouldn't do for you" his hand came to rest on Merlin's baby bump "nothing I wouldn't do for her." Lips meet lips, the kiss was deep, riddled with desire that was destined to be "May I make love to you?"_

_The young warlock stared up at the prince, his eyes shining with the love, the desire, the need he had for him. "You may." H__is heart skipping a beat, this was the moment he'd been waiting for._

**(…………)**

When Merlin wakes up all he can hear is the roar of thunder and pounding of the rain. He rolls onto his side so he can see the rain splatter against the large window; he wishes his prince was here. Arthur is off training nights or was it hunting? He was forgetful these days. He last saw Arthur at the markets, when he told him to return to his chambers because people were looking, he doubted they knew though, well, he hoped they didn't. Uther would have his head. Arthur could never save him from his own father; his hatred of magic was stronger than his love for Arthur.

The windows rattled harshly as the rain and wind pelted against them. Fork lightening lit up the sky and crackled in the distance. The doors flew open, the warlock sat up in a hurry. Before him, looking livid was the king and Merlin nearly blacked out, the force of panic was so strong that he couldn't breathe. Guards swarmed in, pulling him roughly from the bed and to his feet. He couldn't stop shaking.

"I never would have thought" the hatred in the king's voice made Merlin's knees buckle "that you could have been a sorcerer" venom tainted every word, pure hatred filled his eyes "I always thought you were just a babbling idiot" he pulled at Merlin's shirt, ripping it as he lifted it up to reveal his stomach, not that he needed to remove his shirt to see it. "Who's child is this?" he shouted, Merlin trembled. "Tell me!" he grabbed the red neckerchief and pulled him towards him, his face flushed with rage, Merlin's wet with tears. "Or I will give you something worse than death."

He choked back a sob "A… Arthur's." there was no point in lying, because as soon as Arthur found out about this he would tell the king he was the father. "It's Arthur's."

The blow that came sent the warlock to the ground. His head pounded, his eye throbbed and was already swelling shut. "How dare you!"

"It wasn't like that" he cried "I'm not evil."

"You will burn for this" he motioned for the guards to pick him up, not carrying at all about him or his unborn child. The dragged him towards the king, his face a mask of pure hatred, malice in his eyes. "I will make sure of this."

**Please let me know what you think :)**


	2. Part 2

The dungeons are cold, wet and lonely. Merlin is a broken man on the cell floor; he has made himself as small as possible, just wishing he could fade into the ground. He can't stop the tears, he can't stop the fear that chokes him; he can hardly onto his flicker of hope. He prays that Arthur will run down the stairs, his breath heavy in the silence and the sound of jingling keys a soft melody. He will open the cell door and set Merlin free. He will find himself in his lover's warm embrace and everything will be ok.

But he doesn't come.

Someone does though. Their footsteps loud on the ground, the jangly of their keys menacing, their laugh makes Merlin's blood run cold. The door opens with a loud squeak of protest and in steps a guard, his face once handsome but now marred by hideous scares. Merlin can only guess it's from magic before the guard sends a boot into his face. The sound of breaking bone is sickening, the pain blinding. He cries out as the blood trickles down his face and into his mouth. He crawls backwards, pressing his back up against the cell wall but he has just trapped himself. There is nowhere to go.

The young warlock curled into himself, shielding his swollen stomach as best he could from the cruel attack. The man was yelling, screaming, but Merlin was concentrating on one thing and one thing only: his daughter. "You'll be alright," he whispered, wishing it were true. "Arthur will come." God, please, he had to come. This was not his destiny. Merlin screwed his eyes shut and hoped, _prayed,_ that Arthur would come, that their baby would be ok. The blows slowed to a halt, Merlin peered up through his tear-soaked lashes to see the man pull a knife from his belt, a strange, satisfied grin on his face.

"I'd love to carve you up" he spat "the way the sorcerers did my family" he advanced on the warlock "I came here knowing I would be safe from monsters like you! And I believe its fate that has brought you to me" he smiled menacingly "I can get my revenge." Merlin whimpered "Uther promised me as long as you were alive to burn I could do what I wanted to you."

The man kneeled in front of the terrified warlock, twisting his knife so the blade caught what little light filled the cell, making it glint menacingly. "I've been waiting years for this…" he whispered, running the blade slowly down the side of Merlin's face, snarling as the cut made the young man cry out in pain. "Think that hurts, boy? What your _kind_ did to my family left wounds far deeper than anything I could do with this pigsticker… but I can damn well try, can't I?"

Merlin shut his eyes, tears still escaping but the pain never came. He cracked open an eye lid to see the Guard with his mouth opened in a 'O' of horror and a trail of blood trickling down his chin. He fell sideways with a loud thud and Merlin looked up to see Arthur. His sword stained crimson. Merlin leaps to his feet, the pain forgotten as he threw himself at his prince. Arthur immediately wrapping his arms around his terrified lover.

"You're safe now" he whispered "I've got you, you're safe. You both are." He continued his stream of nonsense words as he led them out of the cell, leaving a terrible memory behind. But why was Merlin free? Where was Uther?

He stopped in his tracks. "Where's the king?" 'Please Arthur, don't have killed him' plays in the warlocks mind.

"In my chambers" he replied calmly "we're to going to show him what good magic can do."

**(…………)**

Merlin had never felt so small. Uther's piercing gaze had him shaking like a leaf caught in the wind. He's not sure what he is supposed to do but he had a feeling _she'd _know what to do. He stepped away from Arthur, his body feeling heavy and sore; he can taste his own blood and feel it trickle down his neck. He is bleeding because magic has been feared, feared for far too long. Its hatred has blinded many. Innocent people have died horrible deaths because of their fear, because they misunderstood magic.

Magic wasn't for everyone, it could do harm in the wrong hands but just because some abused it didn't make it evil. It was time for the people of Camelot to realise, _to see_ that magic could do great good. It was time Uther Pendragon saw the good that was magic. Merlin reached out, the King didn't pull away, his unsteady hand came to rest on his arm and everything turned white.

The throne room came into focus, his beautiful little girl standing before him, a small kitten in her arms. She giggled cheerfully before spinning around in a circle, her hair flying out like a halo. She ran towards the doors that had just swung open, an older looking Uther swept her up into his arms. She laughed again; it was so sweet, like a song. She held out the small kitten, its fur shinning in the afternoon sunlight.

"This is Bella" she said cheerfully "daddy said I could keep her."

Uther laughed and looked towards Merlin, his gaze no longer frightening or riddled with hatred. The warlock mirrored the smile before turning around to fold himself into Arthur's arms. His prince stood strong beside him. _His protector._

The vision faded but instead of Arthur's room Merlin saw a large bedroom, illuminated in a golden glow. Sitting on the window seat, staring out at Camelot was a beautiful young girl, no older then sixteen or seventeen. Her long locks were golden in the sunlight; her deep blue eyes sparkled with life. She turned to face Merlin, her lips parting into a smile. "Hello daddy." She greeted him as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear "is it time?"

"Time for what?" he asked, he sounded older.

"For me to fulfill my destiny…"

Merlin faded back into the present; Arthur's strong arms were the only thing keeping him from collapsing to the floor. Through the fatigue he looked up at Uther, his face shadowed in a number of emotions. He looked up at his son and servant, something was different. His eyes didn't seem as cold; it was like a part of his ice heart had thawed. "She looks so much like your mother" he whispered to Arthur who smiled at him. "You're free" this was said to Merlin, _"you're free."_

**(…………)**

"_What?" Merlin slammed the door shut and glared at his old friend. Every day, every freaking day, he found Gaius waiting for him, with an odd look of disappointment on his aging face. "Why do you give me that look every day!" he demanded "are you pissed off at me? I know I messed up! I'm pregnant, with Arthur's child and its bad, it's really bad and I've beat myself up about it enough already without you doing so as well. I get that I screwed up our destinies, I do, but I'm trying to work things out without him, I'm trying not to love and hate him and I am trying not to think about what would happen if he knew about the baby because I know he can never know!" _

"_I was just going to say you shouldn't work so hard."_

"_Oh" Merlin blushed "well… tell Arthur that."_

_Gaius sighed and placed a vial of blue liquid onto the counter top. "You might have to take some days off" he said quietly "you can't over work. You have to think about the baby."_

_It was Merlin's turn to sigh "yeah I know" he looked down at his stomach, he was five months today. He could see the small round bump now, it finally felt real; it felt right. With a gentle smile he said "I need a bigger shirt."_

**(…………)**

"Breathe in" Merlin took in a deep breath as the Lady Elizabeth, his midwife and Gaius's friend whom had come to help Merlin give birth, said "and out." He obeyed, feeling so stupid and foolish. He turned to face Arthur; he had one hand over his mouth and the other holding Merlin's. His prince was laughing at him; well he wouldn't be laughing when this was actually happening. Nor would Merlin, who had just lost the war against the urge to throw his head back and laugh at himself. Arthur too joined in, collapsing onto the table beside Merlin and hiding his face in his shoulder.

"This isn't a laughing situation" Lady Elizabeth announced firmly.

"It certainly won't be funny when it's really coming out, Merlin" Gaius added.

Merlin grimaced; it certainly wasn't going to be in a walk in the forest "sorry" his laughter ceased as did Arthur's, who know looked slightly worried.

"Wait" he held out his hand "how is Merlin…" he waved his hand in a circle "you know… going to give birth" he blushed slightly and Merlin mirrored him "he doesn't exactly have the parts he needs."

"No" Lady Elizabeth sighed "he has magic."

"And that explains everything" Arthur retorted sarcastically.

The midwife sighed again "Merlin's magic has created its own way to deliver the baby" she smoothed down her dress "he will give birth just as a woman does."

Both boys grew pale but it was Arthur who spoke "you're avoiding details but I'm not sure I want to hear them."

"Merlin has a uterus" she explained "for the moment anyway, it will disappear after the baby is born and return if he gets pregnant again."

"But how is it going to come out?" Arthur asked, being Merlin's voice.

The midwife and Gaius shifted uncomfortable and exchanged sheepish glances.

"Well?" he put authority into the word, making it sound like 'I am the Prince of Camelot and future king, you have to answer me.'

"His magic will" she blushed "create an opening for the baby."

"We're not children" Arthur snapped bluntly.

"I think she is trying to say my magic will give me a vag-"

Arthur covered Merlin's mouth "I figured as much" he grinned mischievously all of a sudden "I just wanted to make Lady Elizabeth squirm."

"You are such a prat" Merlin said as soon as Arthur's hand was removed. "Sorry about him Lady Elizabeth" he looked up at the midwife who was frowning at the prince "he can be a real ass."

"Well then" she folded her arms over her chest and a smirk crossed her delicate features "I know just the trick for that."

Arthur laughed at her "I'm the prince, you can't punish me."

"No" she winked "but you are also a soon to be parent."

**(…………)**

The worst thing about being pregnant is everyone touches you, like there is a sign above your head saying 'come feel me'. He doesn't understand why everyone thinks his baby bump is so damn cute. He has only six weeks to go and if she got any bigger he wouldn't be able to walk. Of course the more his stomach grew the more people touched it and talked in babyish voices to the future queen of Camelot. People also treated him differently, some looked away when he walked past them some waved and said hello and the guards seemed to follow him everywhere. He wasn't sure if it was Arthur or Uther who had ordered them to do so.

The young warlock sighed wearily as he sat down on Arthur's – their – bed. He was having trouble getting used to the fact he was now more than a servant, he was the prince's partner and was carrying the heir to Camelot. When he arrived at Camelot he never saw this day coming but even if he had he wouldn't have turned around. It was hard to picture his old life, those lonely nights filled with the desire to be with Arthur faded. Now he spent every night in his arms and awoke to those beautiful blue orbs. His old life was lost, he could never go back but he had gained something much more amazing.

He had restored magic to Camelot; he had shown Uther that it wasn't evil and that it could bring great things. Such as Destiny, the unborn child that would one day rule the land and carry on the Pendragon legacy. Merlin's daughter had the greatest of all destines and though he knew nothing of what was to come, the dragon had told him she would do great things on the day he was set free. Destiny is what awaited her, so Destiny she shall be named.

"Feast."

Merlin looked up at Arthur who lent against the door, face flushed and his hair damp from sweat. "Feast?"

"We have a feast to attend" he wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand "celebrating the new princess."

"She's not born yet."

"Exactly what I said" Arthur took in a deep breath then let it out "but they said… something about you'll be too busy after she's born to attend any feasts" he wiped his brow again before pulling his sweat soaked shirt off. "So c'mon get ready."

"What happened to you?" Merlin asked cautiously.

Arthur looked up from his task of removing his boots while standing "Lady Elizabeth is what happened to me" he pulled his foot free and stumbled backwards in a very un-princely way.

"Do you want me to undress you?"

A flicker of lust was clear in the prince's eyes "No, I have to learn to take care of myself" he gave up with taking off his second boot.

"But you're Arthur" Merlin added "the prince of Camelot; you don't do things for yourself."

"Yes I know who I am Merlin!" he snapped. "Sorry" in a few short strides Arthur reached the bed and sat down beside his lover "I'm sorry" he leant forwards and kissed the warlock softly. "I'm just trying to be… helpful."

Merlin looked puzzled "but you are… sometimes."

"You know I'm not" he huffed "I am lazy and I am rude and a prat" Merlin held his tongue "and I need to change because things are going to be different from now on" one of the most beautiful smiles graced his face as his large hand came to rest on Merlin's stomach. "We're having a baby and I'm going to be a father so I have to stop thinking of myself. I have to help you out, learn to do things for myself."

Merlin didn't speak; he said what he wanted to with a kiss. They melted into each other, the world around them fading to nothing.

Time stood still just for them.

**(…………)**

_The room stunk. It smelt like dead animals or rotten fruit or the horse stables on a hot summer's day. Merlin had turned the room upside down in search of the smell, cleaning everything and anything in his path. He stared dubiously at Gaius's potions, they had smelled off for days and he was tempted to just toss them out the window, but his old friend wouldn't be pleased. He looked away, focusing on scrubbing the table clean. He was sure it wasn't the table that smelt but he wasn't willing to miss a thing. He dropped the cloth back into the water and wrung it out as the mop moved past him, leaving a wet trail behind._

_Arthur better not choose today to stop by and yell at him for slacking off. He couldn't help it that he was pregnant and felt tired, moody and sick almost every hour of the day. Of course if Arthur wasn't such a prat he might notice Merlin paling, might see the sad look in his eyes, hell he might even say sorry for using him. Oh but that would never happen, it was swept under the rug where no one could see and then forgotten._

_Merlin dropped the cloth into the bucket with too much force and the soapy water splashed him in the face. Damnit what was that smell? He wiped the water from his face and spun in a slow circle, surveying the room. It looked fine, no dead animals or rotten fruit in sight, just sort of messy. He sighed heavily before reaching out to catch the mop as it zoomed past him again. Maybe he could cast a spell to make the room smell like roses._

"_Merlin!"_

_Oh great. He turned around to face Arthur, glad that he had just stopped the mop from its magic cleaning "Yes Arthur?"_

"_You can clean your chambers but not mine?" he raised his eye brow in annoyance._

"_Something smells" he replied promptly "and I have to clean everything until it doesn't smell."_

_Arthur sniffed the air "no, it smells fine."_

_Merlin shook his head "the room smells like dead animals or rotten fruit!"_

"_No, it doesn't!" the prince protested as walked towards the warlock. "Are you sick?" he placed the back of his hand against Merlin's brow, making him shiver._

"_I… perhaps" he smiled slightly "I should maybe go lie down."_

_Arthur considered this "But my room is still a mess."_

"_And this room smells disgusting."_

"_Maybe you should go lie down."_

**(…………)**

'_Please stop looking at me, please stop looking at me, please stop looking at me'_ Merlin chanted over and over in his head as one by one the quest filled the room, all taking their time to stop and look at him. Hadn't they ever seen a pregnant warlock? Well, probably not. He slouched lower in his chair, trying to disappear into the smooth wood. Arthur sat across from him, deep in conversation with Morgana who sat next to Merlin. Apparently they were arguing over the name of the future princess, Merlin had yet to tell Arthur what he had chosen, perhaps now was a good time. Arthur and Morgana's fight could go on for days.

"Destiny" both royals turned to look at him "her name is Destiny.

Morgana smiled slowly "that's adorable."

Arthur grinned "yes, I quite like it."

Merlin mirrored Arthur's smile "I had a feeling you would."

"You are going to be so cute" Morgana said rubbing the warlock's stomach.

"Morgana" Arthur said in a warning tone "please keep your hands to yourself."

She quickly pulled back and offered Merlin an apologetic smile "sorry."

"It's alright."

"No it's not alright" Arthur retorted "you're not a cat. People can't just touch you when they feel like it."

"Arthur" this was said by Uther "please act your age."

Arthur rolled his eyes once the king had turned his back and both Merlin and Morgana laughed.

Suddenly it dawned on Merlin, as soon as the smile was gone; that he was young, very young and so was Arthur and in a matter of weeks they were both going to be parents. Could they really handle this? Would they be able to stay together and raise a child? Or would the stress tear them apart? Would he be a good father? So many questions suddenly swimming in his head and he felt like he was drowning.

"Merlin, are you alright?" Morgana asked, taking him out of his reverie "you looked troubled."

"I'm fine" he assured.

Arthur reached across the table and took Merlin's hand into his own. "We will eat our meals then return to our room so you can get some sleep" he gave his hand a gentle squeeze then let go, a tender smile lingering behind.

**(…………)**

Bed was heaven. They had to stay at the feast longer then they both wanted. They had to at least take place in three dances and Merlin wasn't the best dancer before he was pregnant and he was only worse now. But even though he had no sense of rhythm it was still nice to be in Arthur's arms, in front of everyone, they could all see that Arthur loved him. As he closed his eyes, feeling the bed dip as Arthur climbed in, he remember the feel of lover's hands on his sides, resting on the bump that prevented them from being able to be close. He may have been exhausted and his feet now ached as did his back, but it was a perfect night.

And now he was safe in Arthur's arms, his perfect prince kissing him and whispering 'I love you'. Merlin snuggled closer to the man he loved, the one man he'd do anything for, and listened to his steady heart beat. Rough hands made their way to his stomach but the touch was gentle and soothing. He felt Destiny kick, his eyes fluttered open and he saw Arthur gazing at him concerned. He smiled at his prince, allowing his thoughts to drift to the life inside of him.

Right now, with her inside him, she was safe but afterwards, that would be the hardest part. She'd be a part of this world and beautiful it was but danger lurked behind dark concerns. Merlin knew very well that plenty had tried to kill Arthur; he'd escaped death over and over. Was this his little girl's future? To be hunted by those who wanted revenge or Camelot for their own. Could he protect her from the evil of the world?

"Merlin" Arthur's voice broke the spell "what's wrong?"

Merlin hesitated "I… do you think we will be good parents? Do you think we will be able to keep her safe?" he rambled "so many people and sorcerers have tried to kill you Arthur and I-"

Arthur silenced his partner by placing his fingers to his lips. "Hush" he gave him a quick peck. "She will have every guard watching her like a hawk, she will have _us_ to keep her safe, not to mention, I am sure she will have her own powers to use if need be" he smiled. "I think we will be good parents Merlin" he pulled him closer "and we don't have to do this alone, we have so many friends here to help us."

Merlin smiled into Arthur's chest "I didn't think of that."

"Of course not" he scoffed mockingly "you're an idiot."

**(…………)**

The pains started an hour after Arthur had left to go on a hunt to find some mysterious creature that had been spotted roaming around the Camelot boarders. The castle is dimly lit and empty as he makes his way to Gaius. He's scared, she is four weeks early, Arthur isn't here and hurts, it really hurts. He knew it would hurt but never had he imagined it would feel like this. He was alone walking down the stone steps and he should have called for help but being the fool he was he didn't. He was now halfway across the courtyard, the night breeze cold on his sweaty skin. He had suffered from a lot of pain lately, cramps, back aches, heart burn but none of that held a candle to how he felt right now.

Why was the courtyard empty when he needed someone the most? Oh right, a strange man eating beast was roaming the forest and Arthur and most of the knights were sent to kill it before it reached the city. Perfect timing he might add. He reaches Gaius's chambers and banged on the door, only just managing to keep himself standing. The door opened in no time and the old physician had to catch Merlin as collapsed forwards.

"Merlin, are you alright?" Gaius asked, his voice laced with panic.

"T… the baby's coming" he panted "A… Arthur's hunting… I need him… here."

"Shh, it's alright Merlin" his old friend led him towards his old bedroom, shouting for Lady Elizabeth, who Merlin didn't even know was here. "Remember Merlin it can take a long time to give birth" Gaius said as he gently placed Merlin on his old bed, it seemed unfamiliar after all the nights in Arthur's.

"I don't care how long it takes I want Arthur right now!" he shouted before doubling over in pain. Tears leaked from the corners of his tightly shut eyes and he realised he had never been so scared. Not even when facing his many foes had he felt this fear, it was blinding and suffocating. "Please… I want Arthur" he sobbed "I'm scared… I want Arthur."

There seemed to be a long stretch of silence then a few whispered words and Merlin was left alone with Lady Elizabeth. She sat down next to him and pushed him back against the pillows, he took in a few deep breaths as he recoiled what he had been taught. He turned to face his midwife; she smiled at him before brushing away the hair that had stuck to his forehead.

"Is Gaius going to get Arthur?"

She cupped his face in his hands and smiled "of course."

**(…………)**

"_If I get any bigger I won't be able to walk" Merlin said as he stared down at his large stomach, he had nine weeks to go and he really couldn't wait for this to be over. He'd often seen women in Ealdor with children and they looked so happy, they glowed, how could they be so happy when everything hurt? It was hellish just getting out of bed let alone trying to walk around the castle and then, then there was the stairs. Let's just say Merlin had a new enemy. "Why can't she just come now?"_

"_Oh stop complaining Merlin" Arthur snapped from his position behind the desk, which was littered with papers._

"_If you knew how I felt right now you would be complaining too!" he retorted "I can't see my feet, it hurts to sit and stand, I have heart burn, I have to pee a lot, I get cramps, I've eaten the strangest of foods, I'm tired, I'm fat, and," he took a deep breath "and people are always, ALWAYS touching me. I have strangers talking to my stomach and it's really uncomfortable. I have Morgana and Gwen telling me how cute I am. I have some people looking at me like I am a freak and at any moment will turn into a monster and kill them. Then I have people treating me like I'm a baby" he pointed to his chest "let me do that Merlin, oh don't worry Merlin, I'll do that, oh Merlin are you ok? Merlin, maybe you should sit down."_

"_Are you done?" Arthur asked, biting his tongue to hold back the laughter. There seemed to be nothing cuter then a frustrated Merlin._

_He took a deep then "Yes."_

"_Good" Arthur stood up and walked towards him pulling him into his arms the best he could "it will be over soon Merlin" he gave him a quick kiss "and we will have our beautiful little girl and everything you just complained about won't seem so bad."_

_Merlin grinned half-heartedly "fine, but next time you're having the baby."_

**(…………)**

"Why isn't Arthur here yet?" the young warlock sobbed "please… I need… him" two hours, two freaking hours and Arthur wasn't here and Gaius hadn't given him anything for the pain, he was scared and did he mention Arthur wasn't here? He withered in pain, gripped the sheets and forcing back another cry. Lady Elizabeth placed the damp linen cloth to his forehead to wipe away the sweat that would only return a moment later. "Where is he?"

There was a pause and a long sigh "He's not coming."

Merlin opened his eyes, which were wet with tears "WH… what… why?"

"Because you're not going to survive this" she removed the cloth and placed it back in the bowl.

"What… what are you talking about?" his voice took on a hysterical edge.

She placed the cool cloth back onto his forehead and smiled and for the first time Merlin could see the evil behind it, the darkness in her eyes. "Do you want to know why Arthur took advantage of you all those months ago?" he didn't answer, he knew it was a rhetorical question. "Because I gave Gaius a little something to slip into his drink" Merlin's eyes widened in shock "oh don't worry, he is under my control, he would have never done it otherwise."

"But why?" Merlin asked, feeling the panic lace around him.

"Because I want your baby" she said, like it was obvious "let me tell you a little secret" she pressed her pointer finger to her lips and grinned "I have been spying on you and Arthur for quiet sometime, I saw how you two were with each other. Oh it was young love" she laughed "so I went and saw a Seer, and she told me that you and Arthur were meant to be, two sides of the same coin, she said" Elizabeth forced Merlin to stay still, he had started to struggle, but in his weakened state it was no use. "I watched you and Arthur for a while longer but you two were so stubborn, never admitting to your feelings so I put a spell on Gaius and he gave Arthur a lust potion."

"So Arthur and I were always meant to be?" he asked weakly.

"Well according to destiny."

Merlin winced as another sharp pain shot through his abdomen "I won't let you have her."

"Oh Merlin, you should be proud" she lent in closer, making him shiver "she will be a great force of evil."

Merlin forced back a sob "I won't let you have her!" he looked deep down, searching desperately for his magic, but the pain made it hard to find and even harder to hold onto. He closed his eyes and sought out his magic, feeling for the tiniest spark that would save him. He pictured Arthur in his mind, he stood proud, their little girl in his arms, her smile as bright as day. He felt a spark; the magic was coming to life in his blood. With all his strength he muttered a spell and found himself before Arthur and his men.

The forest was eerier, Arthur and his men were looking bewildered, but it was his prince that recovered first. He ran towards Merlin, his face a mask of panic. "Merlin, what's going on?"

"I'm in labour-"

"-What?" he exclaimed "why I haven't I been told. I will head straight back to Camelot."

"Arthur" he sobbed and the prince reached out towards him but his went right through him "Lady Elizabeth wants our baby and she put a spell on Gaius, I can't escape."

"Merlin, where are you?" his body started to shake from anger.

"Just hurry" Merlin felt himself being pulled back to his body. There was a moment of darkness before he found himself staring at the monster that wanted to harm his baby. "Arthur's coming" he said proudly.

"I guess I will just have to make this move faster."

Merlin thought he knew evil, he had seen it, but he had never seen anything as sinister as the glint in Elizabeth's eyes. "Please…" he had to buy some time, Arthur would be here soon. "Please don't."

"Don't worry" she soothed "it will be over soon" she reached towards the table that stood a few feet from the bed, a malice looking knife sparkling in the candle light.

Merlin felt his panic reach its max, he had do something now or it would be too late. He summoned his magic with all his strength and the knife was pulled free of Elizabeth's hands, leaving her momentarily surprised. She didn't have time to react or even blink, the blade moved through the air and pierced her heart, there was no scream of pain, just a shocked gasp before she fell to the floor, lifeless.

Merlin looked away from the witch and dragged himself out his old bedroom and down the old creaky stairs; he'd wait for Arthur here. Of course he forgot about the enchanted physician who lunged at him, grabbing him with strength that Merlin could not match in his weaken state.

"Please, Gaius, I know you're in there" he tried in hopes of freeing his friend from his curse. "You don't want to hurt me. I know you don't." Merlin tried one last time to pull away when he felt a ripple of magic. His old friend suddenly let go and stumbled backwards, looking like a scared and lost child.

"Merlin?" he squinted, like he wasn't sure of what he was seeing "what…" his eyes widened and his brows touched his hairline "are you pregnant?"

Merlin cried out in relief "Yes, I am" he sent a glance back to his old room "you were under a spel- agh" his words were cut short by a crippling pain, "The baby's coming."

"I… oh… uh yes" he quickly took hold of the warlock and led him towards the table "I have missed a lot."

Merlin laughed because it was either that or cry. "Yeah, you have."

"Can you stand up for a moment while I get the table ready?"

"Yeah," he focused on his breathing "I think so."

"Ok, just a wait here" his old friend made a mad dash around the room, grabbing blankets and pillows.

Merlin managed to stand for a moment before he felt another crippling pain; forcing him to hunch forwards. The world around him vanished as another shock wave of pain left him falling to his knees only to be caught by familiar arms.

"Arthur" he clung onto his lover for dear life as he steered him towards the table, the world around him spinning.

"Where is Elizabeth?" his prince asked.

"She's… ugh…" he felt a strange sensation between his legs; he looked down to see that his water had just broke; "ugh my water just broke" he panted heavily.

"Yes I can see that" Arthur said, not looking down at the mess "ok, just breathe, in" he took a deep breath in "and out" then let it out.

"Arthur, I'm the one having the baby here" he tried to force some homour into his words "you don't need to breathe in and out."

"Right" he picked Merlin up and placed him on the table and sent Gaius a dubious look, "where is Lady Elizabeth?"

The old physician looked up from his position at Merlin's feet "In Riverdale the last I knew. Why?"

"She's in the bedroom" Merlin wheezed "I killed her."

Arthur looked passed Merlin and he noticed the two guards standing by the door "get her body" they muttered 'yes sire' before disappearing. Arthur turned his gaze back to Merlin, cupping his tear streaked cheeks in his hands. "It's ok, you had to."

As the pain increased Merlin pushed all thoughts of the witch from his mind and focused on the task at hand. His ruined breeches were removed and an old blanket placed over him to give him privacy, not that it mattered, Arthur had seen him naked and Gaius certainly had no choice in the matter. Merlin cried out and gripped Arthur's hand so tight he was sure he had crushed the bones to dust. This was worse than he thought and there was no time to make potions to ease the pain.

"Push Merlin" Gaius said looking up at the sweat soaked Merlin and the anxious prince.

Merlin scrunched his eyes shut and gripped his princes hand so hard that he made Arthur cry out. "Sorry" he panted, "it just hurts."

"Don't be sorry, Merlin" Arthur whispered as he left barely there kiss on Merlin's wet cheeks "inflict as much pain on me as you want."

Merlin heard a noise to the left and looked over to see the guards walking by, an unmoving witch wrapped in a blanket thrown over one of the guards shoulders. "I'm sorry I killed you're friend Gaius" he gasped out. "I couldn't let her have our baby."

"Shh" the old physician panted his knee "don't worry about it, wasn't really much of a friend anyway."

"Agh God!" The young warlock threw his head back as another contraction hit him.

"Breathe in…" Arthur pushed back Merlin's sweat soaked bangs "and out."

"What… what if someone else wants to take our baby?"

"Shh" Arthur rested his forehead against Merlin's cheek "she's gone now, our baby is safe."

"And almost here" Gaius said "just a few more pushes Merlin, come now, you can do it. Start pushing."

"I am pushing!" he snarled as another contraction swept over him and a fresh wave of tears fell "Nobody told me it would hurt this much."

"Shh, it's ok" Arthur climbed behind Merlin and pulled the shaking warlock into his embrace "just breathe, c'mon you can do it."

"I can't" his head lolled back onto Arthur's shoulder "I can't."

"You have to Merlin" Gaius said soothingly "we're almost done, just a few more pushes."

"You can do this Merlin" Arthur whispered into his ear "you can do this."

Merlin closed his eyes, gripped Arthur's hand and fooled his mind with all those wonderful images of his little girl. She had a destiny to fulfill, a life to live, a city to rule and it was up to him to bring her into this world. With everything he had, with all his remaining strength he forced his way through agonizing pain and brought the future queen of Camelot into the world. He slumped back against Arthur, his body cried out for sleep but he forced his lids to stay open, he was about to see his little girl for the first time.

He heard a cry first, and nothing had ever sounded so amazing. He felt fresh tears sting his eyes and when Gaius handed him his little bundle of joy, complete with deep blue eyes and blonde hair, he let the tears fall. She was more beautiful then he could have ever imagined, she had a cute little nose, Arthur's hair and his eyes, her skin was soft as silk and as white as snow. Her big eyes stared blankly towards Merlin; her pink lips stretched into what he could only describe as a smile.

"She's beautiful" Arthur breathed, reaching around Merlin to place his finger in her small hand "she's incredible."

Merlin laughed quietly "she's destiny."


End file.
